Going to the sauna is supposed to be a relaxing, rejuvenating experience… But let’s face it, we’ve all encountered those annoying characters who seem to ruin the whole thing..!
Here are 17 of the most annoying people you might encounter in a sauna:
1. The Chatty Cathy
This person just won’t stop talking. No matter how much you try to zone out or relax, they just keep yapping away about their latest vacation, their work problems, or their family drama. By the time you leave the sauna, you’ll feel like you’ve heard their entire life story.
2. The Door Forgetter
This person always forgets to close the door when they enter or exit the sauna. As a result, cold air rushes in, the temperature drops, and everyone else has to endure the icy blast. And when you politely remind them to close the door, they just give you a blank stare and say, “Oops, sorry!”
3. The Sweat Hog
This person hogs all the sweat. No matter how hard you’re working to create a good sweat, they’re always one step ahead of you. They’re sweating profusely, their skin is glistening, and they’re practically drenched. And when you try to take a turn in the corner of the upper bench, they give you a death glare and say, “Hey, that’s my spot!”
4. The Sauna Singer
This person loves to sing in the sauna. And we’re not talking about a little hum or whistle. No, this person belts out full-blown songs, complete with hand gestures and facial expressions. They’re so loud and enthusiastic, it’s like they’re performing in front of a live audience.
5. The Sauna Snacker
This person brings their afternoon snack into the sauna. They munch away on chips, crackers, or some other crunchy treat, making all sorts of noise and crumbs in the process. And when you give them a look of disgust, they just say, “Hey, I’m hungry!”
6. The Sauna Sprayer
This person sprays water all over the place. They douse the rocks, they splash their fellow sauna-goers, they even spray the walls and ceiling. And when you give them a concerned look, they just say, “It helps to create more steam!”
7. The Sauna Sloth
This person takes up way too much space in the sauna. They sprawl out, they take up two benches, and they hog all the room. And when you try to squeeze in next to them, they give you a rude look and say, “Can’t you see I’m trying to relax here?”
8. The Sauna Show-Off
This person loves to show off in the sauna. They do tricks, they demonstrate their flexibility, they even do handstands. And when you give them a quizzical look, they just say, “I like to keep things interesting!”
9. The Sauna Spazz
This person can’t seem to sit still in the sauna. They fidget, they twitch, they even kick their legs. And when you try to relax next to them, they just say, “Sorry, I have restless leg syndrome!”
10. The Sauna Snob
This person looks down on everyone else in the sauna. They think they’re better than you, they think they know more about sauna-ing, and they think they’re entitled to special treatment. And when you try to engage them in conversation, they just give you a snooty look and say, “I’m sorry, I prefer to keep to myself in the sauna.”
11. The Sauna Storyteller
This person loves to regale you with long, drawn-out stories in the sauna. They tell you about their childhood, their travels, their adventures, and more. And when you try to escape their tales, they just say, “Come on, you’re not even listening!”
12. The Sauna Selfie-Taker
This person can’t resist the urge to take selfies in the sauna. They snap away, posing in various poses and angles, and they post their selfies on social media for all to see. And when you try to relax, they just say, “Hold on, I need to get the perfect shot!”
13. The Sauna Sweater
This person is always sweating in the sauna. They drip and they drizzle, they even leave a puddle behind when they leave. And if you accidentally look at them, they immediately say, “Stop staring, I’m a heavy sweater!”
14. The Sauna Sprinter
This person is always in a rush in the sauna. They stay for a few minutes, they get up, they leave, and then they come back again. They repeat this process over and over, making it impossible for anyone else to get into a rhythm. And when you ask them what they’re doing, they just say, “I’m trying to get the most out of my sauna session!”
15. The Sauna Saunter
This person takes their sweet time in the sauna. They stay for what seems like an eternity, occupying the same spot, and they make it hard for anyone else to get in. And when you try to sneak in a quick sauna session, they just say, “Sorry, I’m using the sauna right now!”
16. The Sauna Sweatband Wearer
This person wears a sweatband in the sauna. They pull it down over their forehead, they soak it with sweat, and they make it look like they’re about to go for a run. And when you give them a quizzical look, they just say, “It helps to keep the sweat out of my eyes!”
17. The Sauna Self-Tanner
This person brings their self-tanning lotion into the sauna. They slather it all over their skin, they turn orange, and they make it look like they’ve been sunbathing in the sauna. And when you give them a surprised look, they just say, “I like to get a head start on my tan!”
As you can see, there are plenty of annoying characters you might encounter in a sauna. But hey, at least you can laugh about them afterwards!
And perhaps you’re one of them! (I know I can sometimes be…)
Anna
Author: Anna Svensson
Anna is a Scandinavian who grew up with saunas. She has had a life-long love for, and interest in, saunas. In this blog, she shares her best hacks and things she has learned about saunas over the years. You can read more about Anna in the “About” page.
